Teaching Ethan

Child’s Play

Sep 5, 2008 Uncategorized

When my nephew was 3 years old, he suddenly came up to the dinner table where the family was gathered for Christmas and said, “Popo (Granny) is Gong Gong’s (Grandpa) wife, Mummy is Papa’s wife, Ah Yee (Aunty) is Yee Cheung’s (Uncle) wife. And Cherry is my wife!”

Cherry, by the way, is his family helper or maid, as they are called here in this part of the world.

We all burst out laughing and his parents were quick to correct his “mistake”, “No, no, Cherry is not your wife. She is our helper.” 

After further probing, we discovered how he arrived at that conclusion. He drew the “wife” relationship conclusion by observing which couples slept together. Since Cherry slept in the same room with him, it “naturally” meant that Cherry was his wife.

While his hypothesis was not accurate, his observation of the pattern was absolutely right on target.

Is that not how we learn? We observe patterns and draw conclusions. The problem with adults is that we have a huge ego and prefer not to chance sounding or looking stupid. Hence, most times, we keep our conclusions (sometimes, judgements) within ourselves and never learn that they are inaccurate, if they were. These becomes our perceptions and beliefs and filters what we see and hear everyday. Our actions, consequently, are shaped by these.

Thinking back to my nephew, no amount of telling him that his conclusion was wrong will help him understand the true concept of husband and wife (i.e. marriage, man, woman, etc.). He has to experience it for himself throughout his life.